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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 21, 2013 12:35am-1:36am PST

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let you go ♪ ♪ five more nights of sleeping on my own on my own ♪ ♪ four more days until you're coming home ♪ ♪ until you're coming home ♪ ♪ three more wishes i can barely breathe if i can make it to christmas eve ♪ ♪ then it's one more sleep ♪ ♪ it'll be one more it'll be one more one more sleep it'll be one more ♪ ♪ one more sleep oohh oohh one more sleep yeah oohh ♪ >> happy holidays! [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: leona lewis. nice job, you guys. what are you looking at up there? that was great. thank you, guys. that was terrific. want to thank my guests, michael strahan, of course, marjorie johnson, leona lewis.
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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy fallon is next. have a merry christmas, everybody. see you later. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you.
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oh, man. hot crowd. hot crowd. welcome, everybody to "late night with jimmy fallon." thank you. you guys feeling good tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's what it's all about. that's a hot new york city crowd right there. welcome. thank you for watching. welcome. here is what everyone is talking about. big, big celebrity news. this is crazy. lady gaga -- [ laughter ] lady gaga is now saying that sometime in 2015 she will actually perform a concert from space. [ cheers ] i mean, that's great. it's always so much fun when an artist performs a show in their hometown. [ laughter ] i always find it fun and charming. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ applause applause i live for the applause-plause live for the applause ♪ and of course it was a little weird at first they offered her a spacesuit and she goes, "i'll just grab one out of my closet." [ laughter ]
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[ rimshot ] thanksgiving is just a few weeks away. you guys excited for this? thanksgiving? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ start baking the pies that is not a song. but, i'm excited about it. i like thanksgiving. this is kind of cool. for the first time in more than 30 years, butterball is hiring men to answer questions on its thanksgiving turkey hotline. [ light laughter ] it used to be just women. now they are allowing men. yeah. which is quite the most common advice, "call domino's." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] just trust me brother. just trust me brother. brother, wassup. yeah, later. wassup, no one does that. with thanksgiving coming up, pringles is now coming out with i'm serious. they're coming out with pecan pie flavored chips. [ audience oohs ] that's right. these holiday theamed products are very, very popular. you got the pumpkin spice latte. that's awesome. [ cheers ] whole bunch of stuff.
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now let's look at some of these other ones here. for instance, bose is releasing family fight canceling headphones. [ laughter ] very nice, for thanksgiving. [ applause ] the brooklyn brewery is releasing a special beer just for uncles with choice hops time released racism. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he's not my president. another cold one. i didn't vote for him. [ laughter ] and finally, levi's is releasing pre-unbuttoned jeans which is very nice and saves a lot of time. [ laughter ] it's good for thanksgiving. [ cheers and applause ] check it out. the big story of the last couple of weeks has been this obama care website. tons of glitches. i saw that tony trenkle, that's the guy's real name. >> steve: tony trenkle. >> jimmy: sounds like he is an elf but he's not. he's not an elf. [ laughter ] >> steve: he is not a keebler? >> jimmy: he's not a keebler elf. tony trenkle is the man. he's the official responsible for the obama care website. he has now resigned. [ audience awws ] the worst part is that since he's unemployed now he's gotta
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figure out how to sign up for obama care. [ laughter ] who the hell designed this stupid -- oh, nevermind. >> steve: oh, irony. >> jimmy: just read about a new iphone app. always love the new apps. but this is a new iphone app that helps fans find vegan foods at sports stadiums. [ cheers ] i read about another more popular app that helps sports fans find places that are free of vegans. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] no burgers. i can't eat that. yeah, i know, i heard you. i can't have any of that. i know. who cares? look at your app. [ laughter ] wafers. i couldn't eat that. i know that. stay home and watch the game from home. that's not fair. [ light laughter ] i'm so mad. why am i so angry? >> steve: yeah. why are you mad at these people? >> jimmy: you are going like this. there's a new poll found that 26% of americans would buy marijuana if it were legal in their state. [ cheers and applause ]
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i actually thought that number would be bigger. can we take a look at the entire poll? 26% said they would buy marijuana if it were legal. 34% said they would smoke marijuana if it were legal. [ light laughter ] 23% said, "wait i'm confused. are you trying to sell me marijuana?" [ laughter ] 15% said, "i have some weed on me if you just want to go get baked." [ laughter ] and 2% said, "haha, you said poll." [ laughter and applause ] that made them laugh. this is not good. this week, aol announced that its revenue dropped 90% in the last year. not to be confused with the other thing that's 90. average age of people that use aol. [ laughter ] how do i e-mail a telegraph to the hindenburg? [ laughter ] the people -- people have just lost their minds. i saw this guy on "nightline." i watch the show "nightline." this guy's just out of his mind. he loves swimming with sharks.
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he's like, "they just wanted to be loved." [ light laughter ] he pets them and stuff. just look at this guy. >> what the shark doesn't realize is it likes affection. >> do you think sharks like affection? >> no. i know sharks like affection. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kind of creepy. i'm calling it now, one day that dude is gonna be in a really hard-to-watch youtube video. [ laughter ] he was just trying to hug ginger and i don't know what happened. [ applause ] it's okay. come here ginger. do you want to take this fish out of my mouth? [ laughter ] speaking of fish, a different fish. there's a big phish concert in new jersey recently and apparently the police showed up and arrested 42 people for drug possession. [ light laughter ] 42 people. of the results being reported, police missed a lot of people who had drugs at a phish concert. [ laughter ]
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[ applause ] only 42 people? it's a phish concert. concert was only 50 people. >> steve: oh really? [ laughter ] and the other people were the band. >> jimmy: exactly. hey, guys. it's week ten of the nfl season. are you loving football this year? [ cheers and applause ] really exciting this season. this sunday night we have the new orleans saints taking on the dallas cowboys. [ cheers and applause ] [ boos ] now every year at the end of season they give out awards like most valuable player but they also give out awards during the season. sort of like the ones in high school yearbooks like most likely to succeed, class clown. stuff like that. you guys didn't know about that? [ light laughter ] so, with that in mind, it's time for "late night" superlatives. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ our first player is gavin escobar. he is a powerful tight end for the dallas cowboys. he was voted most likely to be the love child of matthew fox and david schwimmer.
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[ laughter ] [ applause ] congratulations to him. next is new orleans saints place kicker garrett hartley. he was voted most likely to have the look no one has ever chosen from the book at supercuts. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i want that one. >> steve: that's a news article -- >> jimmy: yeah. from the saints zach strief was voted most likely to have played the dad on at least seven failed cbs sitcoms. [ laughter ] honey, you're worthless. [ applause ] next up from the cowboys is phil costa. [ laughter ] he was voted most likely to challenge an owl to a staring contest and win. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] next up from the cowboys, ronald leary was voted largest
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urkel. [ laughter ] did i do that? did i do that? next from the cowboys we have a darrion weems. he was voted most likely to have one of these glimmer things that appear in his teeth when he smiles. [ chimes ] there you go. [ laughter ] next from the saints is josh hill. he was voted most likely to be standing in front of your headlights when your car turns into an old dirt road in the middle of the night. [ laughter ] i'm the little boy that used to live here. [ laughter ] honey, the car won't start. next up from the saints we have david hawthorne. he was voted most likely to freak you good girl. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] next up from the saints we have star quarterback drew brees. he was voted least likely to freak you good, girl. [ laughter ]
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from the saints, roman harper was voted most likely to be a young black man playing an old black man in a movie. [ light laughter ] that's about right. >> steve: he's go the hair cut. >> jimmy: next from the cowboys, we have mackenzy bernadeau. he was voted most likely to be storing nuts for the winter. [ laughter ] a cute little chipmunk. and finally, from the saints, we have junior galette. he was voted most likely to be in a band called hootie and the beard fish. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there you guys go. those are nfl superlatives. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we have a giant show tonight. she's one of my favorites. one of my favorites. a great actress. we're thrilled to have her. from the new movie "thor: the dark world," natalie portman is
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here! [ cheers and applause ] natalie portman is here. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: i love her. she is so cool. plus, he stars in the new movie "the best man holiday," taye diggs is stopping in. [ cheers and applause ] wait, do you like taye diggs? and then here to close out the show, one of my favorite comedians, i have been going on tour. i started this tour called the "clean cut comedy tour." i asked my friends if you have like 20 minutes of clean material let's go on the road. i don't even know if they have 20 minutes of clean material but they do. it is a really fun tour. if i'm in your city check us out. it is all clean. it's me, seth herzog, julie mccullough, nick thune, and right here, this guy tonight, nate bargatze. [ cheers and applause ] nate bargatze. he's awesome. you are going to love him. he will be your new favorite comedian. i also want to talk about the -- this place i went to. have you ever been to nomad? this restaurant? you went? >> yeah. >> jimmy: tariq you have been there? >> yeah.
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>> jimmy: it is -- all right. [ laughter ] i heard you. yeah, yeah. i heard you the first eight times. [ light laughter ] did you get the cards and everything? it is unbelievable. [ light laughter ] i didn't go with you. i don't know. i wasn't there with you, man. you go to -- here is the deal. i got this stack of cards. i go this place called nomad. where's it on 28th or something. madison? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: anyways. chef daniel humm. daniel humm. >> whom. >> jimmy: daniel humm. >> humm. >> whom is it? >> jimmy: 11 madison park. yep, thank you tariq. [ light laughter ] thank you. same chef, anyway, the guy, he's like a magician. he's unbelievably cool. you get there, there's a deck of cards sitting on your thing. you go, "what is this all about?" the waiter goes, "i want you to
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look through these cards and pick out how you're feeling tonight. what kind of cocktail you would like." and just tell me -- look at these cards. they are all different -- gin. you go -- batman. [ laughter ] isn't that weird? if you feel like that -- spicy? hello. rock 'n' roll. hello. [ cheers ] hit it, rock 'n' roll. you know you love it. come on, let's do it. [ cheers and applause ] throw it at the waiter. you throw them at the waiter. no, you don't do that. you hand it to him. you hand them three things. and then -- or four. whatever -- ten things. whatever and they will make you a cocktail that goes with how you feel. and then -- i did gin and rock 'n' roll. gin and rolling stones. it was -- they gave me some crazy cocktail. it was unbelievable. had the best food ever. then at the end we -- i got some chicken. roasted chicken or something at the end. and this guy comes in with the wine and goes, "this wine will go perfect with your chicken." and i looked at the wine it says 1974.
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so i'm going, "i don't want to pay." [ laughter ] >> steve: do i want a new house or a bottle of wine? >> jimmy: do i want an apartment in manhattan or a bottle of wine. i go, "oh, i don't know. maybe i can stick with this cocktail." he goes, "you are going want this." i'm like, "do they always come half full? do always come half full?" he goes, "wait. wait till you see what we do." i go, "okay." have you heard this thing? core of the inner, or something, is name of this thing. it's a wine opener. you don't cork the wine. the needle goes -- tariq, did you do it? >> yes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: why do i even ask? >> steve: wait. >> jimmy: why do i even ask? i feel so stupid. >> steve: he sees a bottle of wine that's empty. >> jimmy: so anyway, it's called -- core or something like that. you pull the thing up, a needle goes in. and shoots argon gas in the wine bottle. and so, the wine doesn't feel like it is being corked. then you press a button and you just pour it out. $100 glass of wine or something. i don't know what it was. but i had this wine from 1974. and you can keep it.
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it stays good for like six months. but i freaked out. anyways, it's called nomad. go check out this place. everyone there is super nice. [ cheers and applause ] i want one for christmas. all right, today's friday. that's usually when i catch up with the personal stuff. i check my in-box. return some emails and of course send out thank you notes. but i was running a bit behind today so i though if you wouldn't mind i would like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool with you? [ cheers and applause ] you guys are the best. james, can i get some thank you note writing music please? ♪ look at the glasses. >> steve: that's clark kent. that's not james. >> jimmy: look at his glasses. >> steve: that's clark kent. >> jimmy: i always thought he had 20/20 vision. >> steve: no. he is a handsome devil. >> jimmy: he's a handsome devil. >> steve: he sure is. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. the white house for sending joe biden to visit china, japan and south korea in december. or as biden said, "yes, epcot!" [ laughter and applause ] ♪
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thank you, new jersey governor chris christie for going back for seconds. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i don't know why. we love that guy. ♪ thank you, pamela anderson for running the new york city marathon for charity which must have been very difficult to do in slow motion. [ applause ] ♪ thank you red sox first baseman mike napoli for walking around boston shirtless after the world series parade. thereby earning your new nickname mike nipoli. [ laughter and applause ] that's his new nickname. love that dude. walking around shirtless. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: that's the way to do it, man. ♪
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thank you, oatmeal for looking like i already ate you before i eat you. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: heart healthy. yes. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you e-mails that say you have successfully unsubscribed from these e-mails. that's completely missing the point. stop e-mailing me! [ applause ] no problem. we won't bother you any more. never again. we will never again. make sure we'll never bother you ever again. >> steve: we are not bothering you. >> jimmy: we apologize. just wanna send a third apology for that second apology. we will never ever bother you again. we do miss you over here at netflix. we would love to have you back. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, peer pressure for being totally not cool. unless my friends think its cool, then it's pretty cool, i guess. [ light laughter ] [ applause ]
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♪ thank you, governor chris christie for winning a second term as governor of new jersey and proving that whenever you run, it ends in a landslide. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you're welcome. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ >> jimmy: a special thank you to governor chris christie. we will be right back with natalie portman. and remember on "late night" when you're here, you're family everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] it's back! applebee's spirited cuisine.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest -- look how pretty she is. oh, my gosh. just beautiful. [ cheers and applause ] she is an academy award-winning actress who stars in a giant new movie, "thor: the dark world" in 3-d in theaters everywhere today. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome natalie portman. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: natalie! >> thank you. i was waiting to see what you guys would choose. >> jimmy: yeah. >> thank you. >> jimmy: yeah, they did a little method man for you. welcome to our show. you look gorgeous as always. >> you look stunning, as always, yourself. >> jimmy: thank you so much. it's plastic surgery.
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we've been friends for a long time i guess. right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it goes back a while on "snl." "saturday night live." you used to just hang out there. >> yeah, when i was in high school it was like a way for me to get in and listen to music and drink booze and go ice skating afterwards drunk which is a fun thing to do. >> jimmy: which is a great -- that's what we love to do at "saturday night live." yeah, absolutely. it was fun. and we used to hang out there and then you actually hosted which was great. >> yes. >> jimmy: it was awesome time. and then we did a vma promo together. >> we certainly did. >> jimmy: do you remember that? >> yes, i do. >> jimmy: it's kind of interesting. >> we frenched. >> jimmy: we kissed. >> we frenched. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we did, yeah. >> this was before we were -- >> jimmy: neither of us were married. >> -- married, yeah. >> jimmy: we didn't really know each other that well. >> no, nice to meet you and then our tongues were in each others mouth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was unbelievable. yeah. for me especially. >> it's great. it was memorable. >> jimmy: yeah. certainly was. don't forget it ever.
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the idea was -- i know. [ laughter ] yeah, i can't look at you. >> i know. [ laughter ] it's super awkward. >> jimmy: the bit was -- the bit was i think the bit was that we were -- in order for me to host the vmas you were my girlfriend or something? or -- i asked them -- i don't get what the joke was. >> i don't really remember. >> jimmy: oh, i know. maybe the joke was that we were --- we're on a date and like -- you weren't into me at all. and then the tv says that i'm going to host the vmas. and i go, i'm hosting the vmas? then you go, you are hosting the vmas? i go, cool, man or something like that. >> yes. hilarious. >> jimmy: we have the clip. yeah, it's hilarious. let's see how funny this is. it's from 20 years ago. >> jimmy: i mean, when exactly is this date going to get interesting? >> just relax, okay. >> "the 2002 mtv video music awards" hosted by jimmy fallon with live musical performances -- >> jimmy: i am? >> you are? >> catch the madness. >> jimmy: i am. [ cheers and applause ] there you go. memories.
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fond memories. >> walk down memory lane. nothing has changed. >> jimmy: nothing has changed at all. what was wrong with my hair there? yeah. look at that. [ laughter ] looks like the wig is on backwards. [ laughter ] the wig is totally on backwards there. pal, you grew up -- on long island, right? >> yes, i did. [ cheers and applause ] actually, taye diggs who is on the show later -- >> jimmy: absolutely. >> -- his beautiful wife, idina menzel also graduated from syosset high school. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> everybody was like, do you know that idina menzel from "rent" went here? we were all so excited. >> jimmy: how cool is that? and now -- but now -- are you moving to paris? is this right? did i get right? >> yes. we are moving to paris in a year. >> jimmy: are you nervous? are you excited? what is it like? >> i'm really excited. obviously it is on beautiful place to live. >> jimmy: why are you moving to paris? >> my husband is going to be running the ballet company there. very exciting. >> jimmy: that's major. >> schmanzy. >> jimmy: that's very fancy schmanzy. do you speak france? >> oh, yeah. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: you don't speak france? do you speak french? >> yes, i do. >> jimmy: you do? >> well, no, not very well. but -- enough to get by. they are very -- make the effort, i find that they're very, very kind and appreciate -- they think an american accent is pretty -- >> jimmy: i disagree. i disagree. [ laughter ] i had a totally different experience. i had an awful time going to france. can you just imagine i have the hair and everything when i there -- this is a true story. i went to get -- because i didn't bring different plugs. to plug my stuff in. i was charging phone or something. i know. i'm a moron. but anyway, i go to this place, it's an electronics store, i think it's called like -- [ french accent ] -- electronics. [ laughter ] >> you're really good. >> jimmy: thank you, yeah. i'm pretty -- rosetta stone. -- and i -- i go in and i go -- do you have -- already this guy is -- he's like -- whatever. i go, do you have an -- [ french accent ] -- adapter? adapter?
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and i go -- plug. i'm doing this. [ laughter ] i'm doing this to the guy. plug, plug. and he goes -- he goes, come on. no. no. no. no. i go, adapter. like this is electronics store. adapter? adapter? i'm just going -- adapter. he goes, oh adapter. [ laughter ] what was i saying? i wasn't that far off? i was so mad. anyway, hopefully you have a better time in france. you have to let me know what happens. more with natalie portman when we get back, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i'm gonna do this... no... no... no i'm gonna beat you this time. ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. we are hanging out with the one, the only, natalie portman, right here. oh my goodness. [ cheers and applause ] she is in "thor: the dark world." it's going to be huge this weekend. i'm so excited to see it. i want to see it in 3-d. that's the jam. i want to do that in imax. it has now become -- that's the new way to watch movies. back in the day, i was addicted to the 3-d imax. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. and my favorite was, "siegfried and roy: magic in a box." [ laughter ] i swear to god it's a real movie. i'm not kidding. you talk about 3-d codpieces, it was really exciting. "thor: the dark world." you play a scientist. >> yes i do. >> jimmy: did you ever dabble in science in college? >> i did. >> jimmy: you did? >> i did a little bit. yeah. i did a science project in my later high school years where i tried to turn cellulose in into hydrogen. or you could put like -- like,
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newspaper in a car eventually and power it. hopefully by breaking it down with enzymes. >> jimmy: oh my god. i have like a volcano that i made with like, baking powder and vinegar. like -- fail. [ laughter ] it was just awful. i mean, i was the worst at science. i'm not good at all. but you play it very convincingly and tell everyone what it's about. what's the story -- >> i don't want to tell too much. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you will discover that at the movie theater. >> jimmy: oh really? >> yes. >> jimmy: they always do a good job these people at marvel. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and are their cameos? can you tell us, are there cameos from other super heroes? >> yes. >> jimmy: you can? >> yes, there is. i won't tell you who. >> jimmy: but there is. >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah. super heroes are fun. >> but yeah, thor has a new enemy and jane, my character, is sort of -- we really are really not allowed to say that much. just go see it. [ talking over each other ] it is really funny. >> jimmy: that's a good enough setup right there. yeah. that's a great set up right there. >> -- and a lot of action. it's a good movie. >> jimmy: yeah, just go see "thor."
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yeah, exactly. well, we have the clip here. natalie portman and chris hemsworth, he's a great dude by the way. >> he is awesome. >> jimmy: he was here for "rush." did you see "rush"? >> i haven't seen it yet, i'm dying too. >> jimmy: he's great. he is so good in that. and we race around and my car broke down. and he totally cheated and beat me. so, i'm really mad at him. so, let him know i am, i'm mad at him. but we have a clip. here's natalie portman with chris hemsworth in "thor: the dark world." check it out. >> jane. >> i'm sorry. i just needed to make sure you were real. it's been a very strange day? >> i am. jane. >> where were you? >> where were you? i don't know because i don't see you. >> i was right here where you left me. i was waiting and then i was crying. and then i went out looking for you. you said you were coming back. >> i know. i know. but the bifrost was destroyed. the nine realms erupted into chaos. wars were raging. marauders were pillaging. i had to put an end to the slaughter. >> as excuses go, not terrible. >> jimmy: that's what i'm saying. natalie portman. [ cheers and applause ] we love you. come back whenever you want to
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pal. "thor: the dark world" is in 3-d and in theaters everywhere today. taye diggs joins us next. there he is in the bud light platinum suite. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ cash back card from capital one. it's not the "limit the cash i earn every month" card. it's not the "i only earn decent rewards at the gas station" card. it's the no-games, no-signing up, everyday-rewarding, kung-fu-fighting, silver-lightning-in-a-bottle, bringing-home-the-bacon cash back card. this is the quicksilver card from capital one. unlimited 1.5% cash back on every purchase, everywhere, every single day. so ask yourself, what's in your wallet? crafted with a touch of tequila, wine, and whiskey, by our highly skilled show-offs -- i mean chefs. are you really going to do this every time? new marsala mushroom sirloin and chicken & shrimp tequila tango. starting at $9.99. two new reasons to see you tomorrow.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest, we love this guy. look at him here, with the gang right there. it's really fun there. look at him all smiley. look at him here. serious. so, serious. he stars in the highly anticipated sequel to, "the best man" it's called "the best man holiday" which is in theaters next friday. ladies and gentlemen please welcome taye diggs! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: taye diggs. taye diggs. please welcome -- have a seat my friend. >> i'm so excited to be here. >> jimmy: i'm so happy you are here.
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this is awesome. >> i'm a "fallon" virgin. >> jimmy: that's right, it's your first time. >> yes, sir. >> i can't believe it is your first time. >> be gentle, brother. be gentle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm so -- i'm so gentle. i'm happy you're here in new york. >> i am too. i spend a lot of time in l.a. and it's so good to be back. >> jimmy: yeah. nothing like the city, right? >> oh, man. >> jimmy: nothing like the city. >> just walking the streets. [ cheers ] yeah. nothing like it. >> jimmy: people watching. the best people. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: i saw you posted a vine, i think we have this, of you riding a city bike. [ laughter ] >> it's me and dee on the city bike. [ laughter ] i almost got killed. >> jimmy: were you afraid? >> yes. it's me and dee on a city bike. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're running out of breath. >> it's me and dee on city bike. >> jimmy: it's you and dee on a city bike. you're looking at the camera and the bike at the same time. >> i'm about to kill myself. >> jimmy: was it easy to get the bike? i haven't done it yet. >> oh, man. i'm one of those people, i'm very easily intimidated. and -- i think city bikes are great. cab drivers hate city bikes, just so you know.
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>> jimmy: they do. >> this cab driver went off on city bikes one day. >> jimmy: what? >> i guess it's -- whatever. anyway -- >> jimmy: cab drivers are mad at anything. >> they are, yeah. but whenever i go to get a city bike, if you -- there are -- there is this list. like a lot of directions. and a lot of words. and -- i just -- i'm like -- forget it. i can't go through all those steps just to get a bike. you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: well, i don't know how to get it. because i thought it was a credit card. then it is a slot like this big. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: like a tiny credit card -- [ laughter ] i got to use like a tiny credit card, that comes with like -- like a barbie doll credit card. [ laughter ] like -- i don't know where to get these cards. yeah. some -- keebler elf place that serves that credit card. but anyways, i don't know how to get them. >> my wife took the time and she was patient enough to read the directions and we got two city bikes and then i almost killed myself. >> jimmy: you also went at nighttime. >> we went at night. that's the only time where -- we had time. we had time together. yeah, we saw a movie.
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now she is doing some theater. she doing a music theater in d.c. it is an out of town run. a show called "if/then." and then it comes to broadway. >> jimmy: so, you're alone for the kid? >> for now, yeah. i just came back from l.a. we're doing press for "the best man holiday." [ cheers ] >> jimmy: absolutely as celebrities do. >> yeah. the kid comes tomorrow at noon and then i spend the weekend with him. then she comes sunday night. how old? he is 4. he's awesome. >> jimmy: i love 4 years old. he's super cute. >> he's awesome. yeah. he was zombie michael jackson for halloween. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a great costume. >> his request. his request. >> jimmy: oh really? he loves michael? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so good. i love that. i have a baby now. i'm just excited. like, the first year we dressed her up. she had no idea what candy is. [ laughter ] or anything, halloween. we put her in a chicken outfit. she was like -- like a little blob, just sleeping. it was so cruel to do. >> jimmy: "best man holiday." i love holiday movies.
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anything holiday movie, i love it. "love actually," i'll go see it. the one with rachel mcadams where she doesn't remember who she is. time traveler. i don't know what it is. i'm in. i love it. >> i hear you. >> jimmy: i don't know why, it looks fun. "best man holiday." this is a sequel to "best man." >> it is. >> jimmy: when was the last time -- what was that movie? >> 15 years ago. yeah, man. we were all kind of starting out. it was great to get the gang back together again. >> jimmy: how fun was that? >> so much fun. >> jimmy: was it hard to get it all going again? >> no, not at all. we -- it was like riding a bike. we got there -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: city bike. city bike. [ cheers and applause ] call back. >> new york. >> jimmy: they're sharp people, yeah. >> you, you're prompting me. where did you go? >> jimmy: i love this guy. i mena terrence howard is a blast. >> oh, man. he's no joke. yeah. >> jimmy: what happens in this one now? >> what happens? it is 15 years later. and stuff gets deep. you know what i mean? the first -- the first one is more of a comedy. lots of laughs in this one but
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then you get to see kind of a downward spiral. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: and it's the holiday season. >> we give you some laughs and give you tears as well. be prepared. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. i'm so ready for this. we have a clip of taye in "the best man holiday." take a look at this. >> i just changed my flight. so, i can come with you to mia's. >> oh, great. but what about vermont? >> it looks like the family understands. if it is important to you it is important to me. look, you guys want me to wait outside? >> shut up, harper. >> don't worry about it, i've got to get out of here anyways. i will talk to you later. >> bye. >> nice to meet you. >> and i guess, see you this weekend? >> i hope so. >> okay. >> like to see you in vermont. >> i hate you so much. >> i like dating chocolate girls. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: taye diggs, "the best man holiday" is in theaters
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november 15th. up next, stand-up comedian nate bargatze. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪music plays ♪music plays
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♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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we're excited to have this hilarious stand-up comedian back on our show. here is his album. you can get it on itunes. it's called "yelled at by a clown." [ light laughter ] that's his dad. his dad is a professional clown and magician. for real. he and i have been performing together this fall on the "clean cut comedy tour." which comes to seattle, l.a. and denver in the upcoming months. it's fun show if you get a chance to see us, come see us. it's a fun, clean show. it's good. but last time he was on our show he did so well nbc signed him for a development for a sitcom. that's pretty cool. [ cheers and applause ] you're gonna love him. we love him. please welcome back a very, very funny man, here's nate bargatze ladies and gentleman. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you, everybody. that was unbelievable.
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i'm onboard with you guys. [ light laughter ] i have been hearing a lot of stories people getting catfished. it makes me nervous because, like, it's probably what happened to me. like -- it will -- it's just going to happen. like you remember that -- manti t'eo story. it was a football player that also believed in the fake girlfriend. like -- i was on his side. i get it. i would fall for that. absolutely. i'm 34. i don't -- i do not sleep with socks on because my dad told me my feet can't breathe. [ light laughter ] i could talk to a fake woman for quite a while. [ laughter ] a long time. i almost joined the army when i was 18. not because of a big dream. just because they called. they were like, "hey. this is the army." i was like, "i'll go." why would you not go? [ laughter ] i also signed up for a jcpenney credit card at 18. [ laughter ] they were like, "do you want a
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credit card?" i was like, "yeah. i'm about to go to the army. i guess i could get some stuff." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. my mom had to get me out of all of that, by the way. my mom had to call the army and jcpenney in the same day. [ laughter ] and she was like, "he's not doing any of this." he got to the phone quicker than he usually does. [ laughter ] look, i'm not a smart guy. i travel a lot. i go to like all these countries. i can't tell you where i'm at in the world. i just went to honduras. we did a uso tour. we had troops in honduras. that's where it is going down next. [ laughter ] and -- it is. like -- they haven't told america yet but they did run it by me. i had no idea where honduras was. and i went to the airport. i was like, "hey, i'm going to honduras." the guy was like, "all right.
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what city?" i was like, "well, i'm just learning right now that's not the name of the city." [ laughter ] just -- wherever. wherever people are going. we landed in honduras. a guy picks us up and then he's driving us to the army base. and on the way there, he was like, "look, there are a couple of things you gotta keep an eye out for. when you go to bed at night, you gotta check your bed for spiders." he's like, "spiders hide in your bed." it is like you are not going to sleep. hope that's cool. [ laughter ] then he goes, "there's a lot of snakes, too. a lot of venomous snakes. what you do, watch out for snakes. but, if you do get bit by a snake the best thing to do is go ahead and catch the snake and then bring it with you to the doctor -- [ light laughter ] so we know like what snake bit you." i was like, "i'm pretty sure that's not kind of what you are supposed to do." [ laughter ] like you want me to catch the snake? i never caught a snake in my life and you want me to get bit and get it together and catch a snake for the first time? [ laughter and applause ]
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i was just telling him like, "it's not gonna go to us, dude. he's going to keep biting me. that's all that's going to happen." he was like, "it doesn't matter. you have already been bit." i was like, "do you even know what a snake is? [ light laughter ] because it completely matters. there is a huge difference between one bite and 30 bites which is what we will be at if i try to catch this snake." [ light laughter ] "who told you this? the snake. is that what he told me to tell me all of this?" [ laughter ] whose side are you on? [ applause ] who do you think? but, you know, i don't -- maybe you are supposed to do that. i don't know. there's a lot of stuff i don't know about. science. i don't -- like i don't believe in science. i don't -- i don't understand it. so it is easier not to believe in it as a whole. i think they could be making stuff up, too. i was read being bugs. they said beetles are 320 million years old. i was like, "are they?
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or do you know i don't know how to figure that out?" [ laughter ] you could be doing that. you know. you could be -- "why don't you do it?" you're like, "you know, i don't even know how to start to do that." [ laughter ] pluto is not a planet. that's when i checked out of science. that's when i was like, "i'm out." i was like, "you can't do that." you cannot no, no. [ applause ] i was like, "you can't do that. can't jam pluto down my throat my whole life. the second i'm out of school, you're like we were just kidding about pluto." [ laughter ] it affected me. in elementary school, i got a c-minus on a test because i forgot to put pluto. turns out i should have got above an a. that's what i should have got. [ laughter ] i should have been asked to teach the class. thank you, guys, so much. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about brother. nate bargatze! come see us together on the "clean cut comedy tour." pick up his album right here. we will be right back everybody.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪
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so you made some bad decisions last night. make a good one this morning. get two biscuit sandwiches, with your choice of country grilled sausage, egg, and cheese, or bacon, egg, and cheese, both on my new southern style biscuits. you'll save some cash 'cause right now they're two for just three bucks. c'mon cody... let's get some breakfast. you drive. i traded the car for the tattoo.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to natalie portman. taye diggs. nate bargatze once again right there. [ cheers and applause ] governor chris christie and the greatest band in "late night," the roots ladies and gentleman right there. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "carson daly." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. hope to see you next week. bye, bye everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪


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